Over a month ago I found a lump in my left breast. I went to the doctor and he could feel it and instructed me to come back in a few weeks. I did. Lump still there. He scheduled an ultrasound for the following week (Thursday right before Eugene). I had to take my 4 year old daughter thinking it would be quick because I wasn’t really worried. The quick appointment turned into 2 hours of worry. They did the ultrasound, then I had to get a mammogram and then discuss the lump. Most of the characteristics seemed benign but there was enough suspicion to do a needle biopsy or take the lump out. Whoa. Wait. This was a lot to digest and try to keep calm with a hungry bored 4 year old.
I opted for the needle biopsy. We scheduled it for Tuesday.
The radiologist who did the procedure is a friend of ours and when I saw his concerned face I fell apart. He was great and as gentle as he could be. Being in the room with the ultrasound machine, my husband, and concerned physicians brought back all the memories and heartache with my pregnancies. I just wanted to be left the fuck alone! Be normal. Not have to worry. It seems just when life is almost so good you need to pinch yourself, that is when the other shoe drops. I knew it. Too good to be true. I just tried to maintain calm. I looked over at my poor husband and he was green in the face and looked pretty upset. He never looks upset. Ugh. I was so glad he was there to
suffer with me support me. He’s pretty great.
This was not fun but there are worse things. Like the waiting for the results. The discussions you don’t want to have and don’t because nothing is confirmed yet.
Thursday morning our friend, the radiologist called and left the best message on my phone.
Holy crap. What a week. I was so exhausted. Coupled with the fact that we served over 2,000 people for different catering events in the valley for Spring Release wines. Oh and I had just run a marathon. Literally.
Please let’s not have the other shoe drop. I love my life. I love my kids and I even still like my joy killer husband. I have the most awesome friends and a great supportive family.
Happy Mother’s Day weekend! I’m off to a 25 mile bike ride! What are you doing this weekend?